Monday, 8 October 2012

43 Last Orders Inn

Visited On 12 July 2012
Here's the photo ...

... and here's the (not totally accurate) map

Onwards to the last two pubs – and on the traffic light crossing of Nantwich Road, Mill Street and South Street is the Last Orders, a basic pub with a small corner bar. There are a middling number of punters in this evening, but one thing they aren’t enjoying is cask beer. Yes, despite the usual array of national brand nitro-keg, there is not even one handpump, so here it comes for the last time.

NO CASK BEER

So what’ll it be? I know, I’ve not had a pint of Tetley’s Smoothflow (tm) yet, and it’s, well, smooth, innit? So I order one of those. It is cheap. It is a brownish colour, although not quite the right shade for the Tetley bitter I recall – like from just across the road at the British Lion. It is a little too cold. It is undoubtedly stone dead. And it has the distinction of tasting of virtually nothing at all.

In this, it matches the nitro-keg Thwaites I endured in the Prince of Wales the other week. But hold on, there is something at the back of the tongue ... now, what am I getting here? Is it hops? Is it malt? Is it some kind of fruitiness, bitterness, dryness or something otherness? Wrong on all of those – it’s a faint metallic taste. Yes, the “inside of keg” aftertaste, the last word in modern cask conditioning. Not.

And that’s the hostelry’s finest ale for you. I take a seat and watch the traffic for a few moments, then glance around the pub to see that the rest of the punters don’t seem to have any great enthusiasm for their pints. It’s just another example of folks going through the motions, supping nitro-keg because it’s there, it’s predictable, and it’s cheap. So another pub chasing that declining market, then.

You can do better than this place just round at the Corner Bar. Or of you want something different, Square One. This is lazy and unimaginative presentation at its worst, and there’s only one ultimate result. Come on lads, you can do better than this. Just the one more to go. Chin up, eh?

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